The story was that of a young dark elf, Kre’tan, who did once fall deeply in love with a mortal by the name of Barb. This of course was unlucky not so much in that it deviated a bit from elf custom– it surely did not. Stories of steamy love affairs between elves and humans have been written about for ages. Yet in this instance, the problem which would not work its way out was that Barb did not like Kre’tan at all. She only wanted him to go away and to stop trampling up her rhododendrons. However, the undeterred reject would not give up his longing for the beautiful Barb for a long while. He wrote and sang and performed badly night after night from the street or from her garden. Then finally, Kre’tan stopped showing up at Barb’s home one evening and that was the end of that.
We have hundreds of manuscripts that Kre’tan left thrown about in Barb’s front yard. Here is an example of some of the stuff he would churn out. This is called in elf language, J’nesst, or Woman, in the common tongue.
J’nesst, dosst borough zhah zhaunus though
dos toss acorns dal olt spire a uns’aa.
Ph’ naut dosst tsossen jal ghil wun Memphis?
Qualla prep mina whol inspection.
Dorn kyorl wun l’ revi’n lu’ lil’alure
Usstan tlun natha ssinssrigg target.
Sweetness, whol l’ dulcet linath Usstan sundu a dos
Usstan inbau natha simper lu’ biu apian response
Usstan ragar confusing.
Xal yodeling ol ‘sohna orn xxizz xuil nindol?
Lu’ nindol draeval, Bob pholor kazoo xuil accompany.
O la la, nindol zhah l’ m’sig ussta xukuth morfethen whol tau.
Jallil, whol l’ mess dos telanth ussta zha’trassen
inbal morfel pholor dosst rhododendrons qualla commit
uns’aa ulu l’ kul’gobsula d’ dosst ssinssrigg garden, dosst slammer d’ bliss.
Dal gaer Usstan orn kus garlands zhaunus ulu exonerate uns’aa.
Usstan tlun to’ryll wun dosst courtroom; nindol zhal’la account whol folbol.
Honey pie, Usstan inbalus er’griff uss fig wun ussta pocket
ulu share maristo drill l’ morn’lo wun nindol che’el uriu naut tlus ichl valyrin.
Ghil ol zhah, though, saph love–natha disorienting mush.
Ji doer harl ghil. Sila dosst hunger. Udos zhal feast.
Mziln, hurling klezn a uns’aa orn’la tlu easier ghil wun l’ revi’n.
Jabbress d’ ssinssrigg nindel Usstan tlun keen pholor,
dos ‘zil al ‘zil Usstan zhaun l’ daylight dal l’ tangi lu’ l’ nighttime dal l’ isto.
Quin, ah nindol zhaunil, ul’naus udos share, z’klaen whol nin suffice
yol kre’tan uriu sila’ve xuil ol natha rosa sariya, natha paperboy,
lu’ natha xa’huu truck; Lu’, Usstan brorn ka nind onhir dos ‘zil Usstan.
For Anyone with a Taste for the writings of Elves