Snake Cold Beer

Teri and I wanted to know since snakes were cold blooded if all we had to do to chill our beer was to place a snake or two in there inside a secure ice chest.

“One snake per six-pack might do?”

“Not quite magic but, yes, entirely like magic.”

“Put a snake in there, wait a while, then enjoy,”

we told ourselves.

Teri remarked on all the other cool wonders, the other breakthroughs, the other delights,
the other disciplines, we might let loose from our experimentations with snake cold beer.


“Just think,” I said, “Of all the problems that might arise from sticking too many snakes in the radiator of a car when it overheats. “Silly man,” she said, “fixing the car with snakes is a man’s job.”

“We could have snake cold packs for swollen faces, though. Just place pack on face then add snake.”

“Think about this,” she said, “Cold war with snakes not missiles,
Cold criminal cases
and snakes,
Cold snake turkey– without the turkey,
Snake cold Arctic winters,
Summer colds brought on by
Cold openings on SNL with Trump
and snakes,
Snake cooling towers for nuclear power plants,
Small snakes for laptop cooling fans,
Larger snakes for desktops.

Instead of receiving a cold shoulder–a snake.
Cold calls
from snakes.
Cold water chilled
with snakes.
Cold ice cream chilled
with snakes.
Cold-hearted bastards
and snakes.
Needing a cold shower but getting
a snake.
Everything with snakes.

Cool tattoos,
cool hairdos,
cool kids’ names,
cool songs for the guitar,
all involving snakes.

I told her that we could also build a large pit
for to place all the caudillo world leaders in.
We could put all the heads of State in there
with snakes
where they can chill.
They’d be in there with snakes
till they can produce solutions
to climate change, poverty
starvation, human rights abuses,
homelessness, inequality,
pollution, and war.

Once done, they may come out and have a beer with us.


Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s