Folks ’round here say he does it with love.
Maybe you’ve seen him, friend, maybe you haven’t
in Boston in San Diego and parts of Japan.
The Law in Oklahoma has been expecting riots.
No public facility or gas station is safe, no.
‘Cause where there’s a TOILET SEAT UP he
Commences to sobbing and pounding his breast violently.
Disgusted with the earth he curses heaven.
“Why!” he howls falling prostate on tiled floors.
Then finally finding strength, he reaches up
as if from the grave. Then with hands and lips quivering,
he lays the offending seat down as if born again.
Then finding satisfaction he gets up, dusts himself off,
ambles to a sink to wash his hands. Yes, he is a clean man too.
Then he is off to another town and another sad story.
Who knows why he does it? Maybe it is a sign of the times.
There’s a man going ’round fixing toilets, putting’ the seat down.
It’s such a shame he can’t fix ’em in the Ladies restrooms.